*sniffs the air in the office* a big sigh of relief after finishing another pile of work. it's funny how sometimes i find myself wondering why i am here. working in a real office with a real job in a real world when i could have stayed at home. yes. i am sixteen, turning seventeen in 6 months, am waiting for my SPM results yet already sat there in a meeting with people that are way older but wiser than me. discussing about stuffs that made me wonder how (the heck) i was able to understand them. it's fascinating yet overwhelming. it's also bearable yet unbelievable.

*sniffs the air in the office again* a bigger sigh of relief after realizing there's only one week left till my last day working here will come. but then again, that also means the day i'll know my SPM results is near. is it nerve-wrecking? of course. a big major of course in deed. more specifically i would say i am anxious. not that i am worried or stressed out but you know, anxious. that anxiety feeling of concerning how i will react to every possible result and how my parents will react. that anxiety feeling of concerning how that day will turn out. will it be considered horrible or will it be considered success? lingering questions that haunt me every out and about.

on a side note, i am excited to start. start what you may ask? well there are a lot of things listed in my planning, that with Allah's will, i'll start right after the day i received my SPM results. it's pretty exciting to have time and to be able to plan to-dos and to-achieves lists because for 11 years i was tangled and bounded by school. at first that freedom felt a bit awkward. it felt rather uncomfortable to be obtained.

but of course we all know that felt for like only 5 minutes (duh).